Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Disaster in 3D for the Holidays

Face it, the most fun to read year-end stories are the ones that dump on all of the Hollywood movies that--if you'll pardon the technical phrase--sucked the big one.
And, oh, did 2010 provide some fine examples of just that. From "Valentine's Day" to the "The Last Airbender" to the truly atrocious "Birdemic."
The L.A. Times points out that this is an off-year for holiday films--few came to the screen in 2010. So it's with great joy that I kick the lifeless carcass of one of this year's holiday films that bombed at the box office and was duly loathed by critics: "The Nutcracker in 3D."
How could such a convergence of technological wizardry and classic storytelling fail, you ask.
Easy, it was made in Hollywood, baby. The place where they bet that the $55 million "Burlesque" was going to knock audiences on their asses.
While "The Nutcracker" does offer some perverse laughs: The Rat King, played by John Turturro in an Andy Warhol wig, for instance, the overall effect is better expressed with the words "grotesque" and "painful to watch."
Best advice: Stay home and pour yourself a big, big snifter of brandy in front of the fireplace.

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