Access Hollywood? I Don't Think So ...

The never-ending debate over whether or not screenwriting consultants are useful or just snake-oil salesmen with leased Maseratis won't be resolved anytime soon. As was mentioned here in previous columns, there are many willing to read your screenplay, give notes, and even, so they claim, provide access to producers, agents and stars who get movies made.
Getting notes on your script is fine. A knowledgeable story editor can help shape up a script, find weak points and zero in on places where character development and conflict can be punched up.
Those who offer access for a handsome fee, however, should be viewed with skepticism--even if a story editor does have access to some Hollywood power players, she can hardly offer to present your script, sight-unseen, to the movie-making elite. Here's the reason: The business's upper echelon only has time for the best of the best scripts. So, say your story editor presents your good, but not great, script to one of those Gods of the industry, who can green light a script, package it with a star and a director and secure funding. The script goes to one of the mucky-muck's underpaid assistants, who reads it and writes coverage. And when the coverage come back the likely verdict is: "Stink bomb." Well, both you and your story editor buddy are henceforth pariahs in that producer's office. You won't necessarily be banished from Tinsel Town, but a couple more stunts like that and you'll be asked to move to the Valley. So, a consultant couldn't possibly offer unconditional access without burning out his friendships in short order.
And in this town, friendships are more important than a few ill-gotten dollars swindled from some unsuspecting novice screenwriters.

It's All About the Craft ... Dumb Ass!

I was listening to a podcast interview the other day with screenwriter, screenwriting consultant and producer Erik Bork, best known for his work on the HBO miniseries "Band of Brothers" and "From the Earth to the Moon," and he said the most remarkable thing. It came at the end of a lengthy discussion with Pilar Alessandra, host of the weekly podcast, "On The Page." She asked him to give the audience a writing tip, and this is, in essence, what he said was: Concentrate on the craft of screenwriting and forget about marketing yourself. Keep trying to make your writing better. Be open to notes and criticism, and forge onward. Once your writing is good enough to reach a mass audience, Hollywood will come calling on you. In a town where everyone is hustling a script, and there are consultants poised on every street corner who want to teach you how to break into the business -- for a princely sum -- these sage words struck a chord with me. Could it be that you really can't expect to make it just because, say, you're related to an industry big shot, or posed as the pizza delivery boy and brought Steven Spielberg his Anchovy Delux with your script on top? Connections will help get your script read, but if the script doesn't deliver the goods -- strong, proactive, clearly motivated characters, interesting conflicts and an ending that is surprising yet, in retrospect, inevitable, readers will recommend that their bosses pass on your script. And that's how it ends up in the Dumpster out back. Attending networking parties, for some at least, is a blast. Often, the advice you hear is get out and meet people, make connections, and presumably, get ahead. That may not be a bad idea, but don't confuse attending networking parties with the real work of screenwriting. As yet there's no substitute for sitting before a blank page and working it out, page by page, scene by scene. That's where all the real self-advancement gets done.

Two 'Unknowns' Craft 'Megamind'

Former Emerson College roommates Alan Schoolcraft and Brent Simmons will this weekend see their seven-year effort to bring "Megamind," the new DreamWorks release, to the screen.
Previously unknown, screenwriters Schoolcraft and Simmons pitched their idea to Ben Stiller, and his Red Hour production company, and Stiller in turn pitched it to director Tom McGrath, whom Stiller worked with on "Madagascar" films.
Originally conceived as a live-action comedy, Dreamworks saw the story as ideal for animation. The voice cast includes Stiller, Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell. The story involves a super villain (Ferrell) who unexpectedly defeats his nemesis, a crime-fighting caped crusader (Pitt). After conquering good, the villain goes through a mid-life crisis.

Forget the Bull, Get a Bulletin Board

These days, scriptwriting software does almost everything for you--thankfully, so far, none of the top programs can pitch your scripts for you, take lunch at The Ivy or collect a 10 percent commission on your earnings. But give them time.
 Some screenwriting software allegedly, and I emphasize the word "allegedly," walks you through the process of constructing scene structure for a feature film script--holy Ishtar!
By far the most useful tools I've found, other than my Macbook pro, and Final Draft screenwriting software, are low-tech products that have been around since before there was any such thing as movies, let alone screenwriting software. It's the standard bulletin board, push pins and index cards.
This is not news to readers of Syd Fields and other screenwriting instructors. But for myself, it was a revelation after years of resisting the bulletin board. Turns out, it's a flexible, inexpensive way to plot out your entire script, and its most obvious advantage is that you can take in the entire story at a glance.
If you establish a set number of cards that you will post to make up a script--the standard being 40, at least for me--you can immediately tell what part of your story is missing and needs to be filled in.
Save yourself a lot of headaches by using these tools and you'll be amazed by how much easier it is to keep your story on track.

It's Good to get Black Listed

The Black List is an annual survey of Hollywood power players in which they pick the year's screenplays they liked best. It doesn't mean that the scripts are going to be produced, although many are either in pre-production or have been purchased. Scripts that make the Black List typically are read by major talent agencies and top producers. They're also a great read for anyone who wants to learn screenwriting principles--and they give you a clear picture of what kinds of scripts Hollywood is interested in.
You can download the 2004 to 2009 lists at the Official Black List site. Elsewhere on the Web, you can download all the 2009 Black List scripts in PDF format.

Roku to you, too, pal!

I recently bought a Roku box, the gadget that lets you stream some Netflix titles to your TV set. Now that it's hooked up properly it works well, but getting it to connect with the Internet was no easy matter. The Roku people say it takes just five minutes to set up the equipment--balderdash! For me it took a couple of days and three help-desk phone calls. I get my Internet via a Time Warner cable modem, and that may have been the snag. I read some online forums about others having Roku-Time Warner problems, and I called TW in hopes of straightening things out, but to no avail. Finally someone at Roku helped me get online and before I knew it I was streaming "La Dolce Vita," "Strangers With Candy" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Roku isn't the only game in town when it comes to Internet video streaming. You can also get online content on your TV if you have a Blu-ray player or an Xbox. Some folks in the forums say it's easier to hook up the latter two devices--I wouldn't imagine it's any tougher that sorting out the Roku.

Making Enemies at The Social Network

Whenever I sit in a nearly empty movie theater, a couple of people always sit directly behind me and talk. This happened the other night when I saw "The Social Network." Granted, it was a movie house on the Vegas Strip--the Strip being a place where the greater majority of people at any given time are drunk. I turned around and gave them a hard stare and shushed them until it finally dawned on them that there were other people in the joint, and they finally quieted down.

I would have expected a rowdy audience if it were a Kung Fu movie or anything with Sylvester Stallone--but at "The Social Network"?

Please, people, do your social networking after the film's over.